Though raised Protestant, I developed an early fascination with rain-dancing, tree-climbing, and walking on windy mornings. As I grew older, the call of the Old Gods grew stronger until just after college when Christianity and I had an amicable parting of ways.
I held my first ritual at a creek behind a local art museum. I brought a collection of things that were important to me – from my new tarot deck to my Grandmother’s Bible – cast my circle with the knife my husband and I cut our wedding cake with, and set up my altar on a stone outcropping under the shade of a dozen trees. I remember being somewhat amazed when lightning didn’t strike as I called the quarters and settled down to my first conversation with this, my new understanding of the divine.
Coming out of the broom closet took almost as much courage as converting. My husband is Catholic, my oldest friend Episcopalian, my parents Methodist, and I’d spent my life singing in church choir and working Vacation Bible School. After an uneasy conversation with my husband (we’d been married less than a year – at the time it was tough; now he’s a pillar of support), I told the spitfire of my existence, my little sister… and she shocked be by being totally cool with it. Some friends took it well, some less so. GG delighted me with the announcement that she was going through the same thing, and we’ve been “circle sisters†for eight years now.
It took me years to tell my parents. Dad doesn’t get it, but like most other things seems to trust that the universe will work out right in the end. Mum is bothered, but we can talk about it. She’s told me my whole life there’s nothing I can do that will stop her from loving me, and she lives by it. My mother and father are a bedrock of my life, and I don’t think they’ll ever understand the magic their unfailing love and faith in me has done and continues to do in my life.
One of the more fun ways I reach out to friends and family is through parties. My husband and I have hosted a Halloween gathering every year since we’ve been married, we are almost always in charge of the family’s Easter/Ostara brunch (a bit trickier as my in-laws are some of the only people who still don’t know), and this past year I held my first Yule party for my side of the family (I was so nervous, but it worked beautifully). I look forward to sharing what I’ve learned, learning from your responses, and hope together we can encourage more pagans to include non-pagan family and friends in our celebrations!
Other than a pagan, I’m an ex-teacher (English and theater arts) and a writer (currently I’m president of the Austin chapter of Romance Writers of America). I live with my husband of nine and a half years and two cats, Morgan and Seas (said Say’-ahs). I love wine (Dr. Loosen Riesling is my favorite), TV (currently addicted to Castle, Big Bang Theory, and True Blood), reading (Kim Harrison, Patricia Briggs, and Karen Marie Moning are my don’t misses), gaming (been with the same paper and dice group for ten years now!) and anything to do with food.
I look forward to celebrating the seasons with you!
Got a coming out of the broom closet story (or other transitioning story) you want to share? Post it in the comments!
17 comments
T.K. says:
Aug 12, 2010
Let me first say this. I don’t intent to be judgmental, so if I ask a question or say something that comes across that way, call me on it.
Second, I’m not highly educated, especially in theology, so I need things spelled out fairly simply.
God… I can’t believe I’m confused by the first sentence of the first paragraph. I’m reading it as Protestants don’t or don’t condone rain-dancing, tree climbing (and since you’re a writer I’m curious..why is rain-dancing hyphenated and tree climbing isn’t?) and walking on windy mornings (what about afternoons?).
Sorry if that seems rude, but I’m trying to understand how these things contributed to your conversion.
“Old Gods,†gulp! I know there are many gods that people believe in, guess I never thought about how old they were. Are their gods older than the Christian God or Jewish God, which is the same god I believe?
T.K. says:
Aug 12, 2010
Oh! Wait! maybe you’re refering to earth, wind, water…. hmmmm, did you play with matches?
Jax says:
Aug 12, 2010
Hahahahaha! Hmm…. Mom wouldn’t let me around matches too often. But I did love candles!
Jax says:
Aug 12, 2010
Your questions are totally welcome, T.K., and you don’t sound judgmental at all! I hope I answer them in a way that makes sense. 🙂
“I’m reading it as Protestants don’t or don’t condone rain-dancing, tree climbing…” Oh, no! I didn’t mean that at all! I know you guys can relish a good tree climb, too. What I was referring to was that a lot of pagans, like myself, come to the religion because they feel a deep affinity for nature. Again, not saying that Christians can’t feel a deep affinity for nature, but paganism is based on the natural world and the experience of it. Our celebrations are tied to the seasons. We have gods of thunder and sun gods and ocean gods. We typically worship outside instead of in buildings. Both religions, Christianity and paganism, are working towards social justice and bettering the world, so the fundamental nature of “do right by your fellow man” is the same, but the expression thereof is different, and paganism’s close tie to the natural world is one of its distinguishing characteristics.
“…why is rain-dancing hyphenated and tree climbing isn’t?” It was an artistic choice on my part to recall the spiritual rain dances of native cultures. Technically it doesn’t need the hyphen. I could take it out, but sometimes I’m just wacky that way. 🙂
“what about afternoons?” Love those, too!
“I know there are many gods that people believe in, guess I never thought about how old they were. Are their gods older than the Christian God or Jewish God, which is the same god I believe?” Hmmm…. a very big question indeed! The Christian God and the Jewish God (and the Muslim God) are, from a historical perspective, the same one. They are all the God of Jewish patriarch Abraham, and therefore these faiths are sometimes called the Abrahamic religions.
As far as the “age” of the various gods… well, you’re going to get a different answer from everybody on that one! The Abrahamic religions are monotheistic, and so anyone practicing those would say that Jehovah (or Yahweh or Allah) is the oldest God because He is the only one! Pagans, however, are not monotheistic, and so tend to accept all cultures’ gods as being potentially real and potentially having value. To clarify, most pagans I’ve met don’t think there’s nine billion gods wandering around the cosmos bumping into each other. But because we don’t think that everybody needs to believe the same thing to have a happy afterlife, we can appreciate each culture’s unique views on spiritual matters without worrying if they’re correct or if we need to fix it to save them from eternal suffering.
So… Old Gods… Archaeological evidence shows that ancient humans were polytheistic first; the idea of a single god was at one time new and later made popular through the Abrahamic religions. Modern paganism is attempting to reconstruct the ancestral faiths of the pre-Christian world (or, like Wicca, to create new, syncretic faiths based on older traditions). When we pagans talk about “the Old Gods” we are referring to either (a) the first gods historically worshiped by mankind which were based on natural phenomenon – the sun, moon, ocean, desert, birth, death, harvest (that nature thing I was talking about earlier) or (b) the gods our ancestors worshiped before the Christian conversion. As a person of Teutonic descent (German and Nordic), my ancestors worshiped Odin, Freya, Thor, Freyr, Tiu, and others potentially up through the 12th century.
Now, the purpose of this blog is not to tell anybody what they should believe or to debate who’s “right,” so I’ve tried to stay neutral here in my discussion. To me what’s far more important than “who’s got the facts” is “who’s spreading the love?†Who’s taking responsibility for their actions? Who’s out there trying to make the world a better, safer, happier place? And that’s something people of pretty much any faith (theistic or humanistic) can do.
T.K. says:
Aug 12, 2010
Thank you for the very interesting explanations. Isn’t it ridiculous how anyone could believe their religion, their race, their sexual preference is the only way?
I am just a little disappointed however. I’d thought maybe you were the fifth element. But then again, maybe you are.
GG says:
Aug 13, 2010
“Chee-khen…gooood!”
T.K. says:
Aug 13, 2010
You aren’t going to be sacrificing any chickens here, are you?
RFS says:
Aug 13, 2010
“Moool-tee-passs…”
T.K. says:
Aug 13, 2010
Speaking in tongues maybe?
RFS says:
Aug 14, 2010
GG and I were just indulging in a little Fifth Element humor…
T.K. says:
Aug 15, 2010
Ooooohhhh, I seeeeeeee. Sometimes I get confused between the fifth element and the sixth sense.
Humor is good…………
Kristina says:
Jul 25, 2011
An excellent and enlightening article. I’m always happy to read stories like this that end well. Open-mindedness for the win!
And since I cannot pass it up… AZIZ LIGHT!
I love that movie.
Jeanne Anne Decosta says:
Mar 9, 2012
Nice meeting you Jax. Rather than writing an essay describing my transitioning, if you don’t mind I’ll just share a letter I wrote to a Second Life friend named Carole, after she told me she was a Witch:
“I, too, am a real life Witch, Carole. My mother is high priestess of a coven that operates in the eastern NY / western CT area, and I was intitiated as priestess and Witch when I was still a teen. My grandmother was a Witch, too, altho she went to church and wouldn’t admit it. Evenso, her powers were astounding.
My mother’s coven describes itself as “Celtic eclectic,” so I was raised in that tradition. In recent years, however, I have been called into the service of Freyja. I have become adept at the practice of Seiðr, a form of Shamanic Witchcraft that pre-dates the migration of Indo-European speaking peoples into northern Europe. I am indeed a modern day Völva or Seiðkona. While I respect the Ãsir & Ãsynjur, and sometimes blót to some of them, I don’t worship them. I consider myself to be Vanatrúr not Ãsatrúr.
I was concerned that getting away from my mom’s tradition was somehow wrong or would be displeasing to her. On the contrary, she encouraged my devotion to Freyja and the Vanir, saying that such a blending of traditions is historically authentic. Indeed, if you look at karyotypes of Faroese Islanders, you find that the mitochodrial DNA comes from Scotland & Ireland while the Y chromosome comes from Scandinavia. Norse men and Celtic women settled the islands. The path Freyja has set me upon builds upon this heritage.
I am a Witch and priestess of Freyja in SL as well as in RL. I routinely circle with the Witches from Artemis Tavern, who are a coven from the UK. Their tradition is similar to my mom’s altho they wear robes while mom’s coven circles skyclad. They have a slightly different ritualistic routine but it is basically similar. I have not witnessed them casting spells but then, I am not a member of their coven and I’m sure that they exclude outsiders when doing serious work. I also hang out quite a bit in Folkvangr in the Lexicolo sim. It is one of the most gorgeous & interesting places I’ve found in SL. I have met its creators and am friends with them.
Freyja has nothing against black labs but they are consecrated to Óðinn, not Freyja. So long as you are nice to cats Freyja will bless you. I’ll clue you in on a secret about her cats, tho. They aren’t the little house cats you often see depicted pulling her wane. Like I said above, she far pre-dates the “migration phase” of northern European prehistory, and her worship goes far back into the Pleistocene. At my personal shrine to Freyja, I have a museum quality plaster cast of a Smilodon fatalis skull prominently featured.
I am not sure how being a RL Witch influences your choices as to the appearance of your SL avatar, Carole. Personally, I try to make my avatar as attractive as I can. There is certainly nothing wrong with the way you choose to make your avatar look but I hope your choices do nothing to reinforce dominant culture stereotypes about Witches and the Craft. I’m not sure, either, how tongue-in-cheek your original post may be, but I take it at face value. Bright blessings be unto you, Carole.”
Jeanne Anne Decosta
Sarah Lynn says:
Jun 11, 2012
I am in the younger crowd who have found Paganism as my path. My name is Sarah, and I am almost seventeen years old, on Mabon. I stumbled upon witchcraft when I was twelve, but did not become serious about learning until I was fourteen. Since then, I have held solitary circles for myself, as well as had circles with a close friend of mine; we learned things together about the craft. Unfortunately, she went through a rough time in her life and gave up on faith and belief. I was solitary once more, but soon I found a friend who was two years newer in her path than I was. I had told myself that I did not feel as if I knew enough to dedicate myself. I continued to celebrate solitarily, and finally I felt knowledgeable enough and I dedicated myself. I grew closer to my new friend, Desi, and we began to learn together and wonder down a path as sisters. We truly are sisters, and have been the best of friends since Samhain when we had our first small circle together at the new year. As of the past month or two, she and I decided it would be wise to do a circle once a week, to keep ourselves constant. It was Beltane night that she and I had our best circle in a field with dancing, just she and I, and we had food, and music, and it was the first time she and I were skyclad.
I have a lot to tell, but would not like to clog up the comment section with all of my little stories.
I would love to connect with you and talk. I think it would be a good idea.
Just reaching out. 🙂
Jax says:
Jun 11, 2012
Thanks for sharing, Sarah! I’m glad you’ve found somebody to practice with. Having GG as my “circle sister” has made a huge difference in my faith. Personally, I think a circle of 2 is a perfect size!
I look forward to reading your comments on the site, and we’re also on Facebook if that’s easier… although I see you already found us! If you have any questions or suggestions for topics we should post about, we’d love to hear them. We’re always looking for new topics.
I appreciate that you are forthright about your age. Troth, honesty between people, is incredibly important to GG and I, and showing troth like that is a sign of your good character. From your comment, I’m not sure if you meant you’d like to talk over email or some other form of non-public communication. I love discussing faith with other Pagans in pretty much any medium, but I would appreciate some form of “okay” from a parent or guardian first. I’m hoping since you hold a regular practice your parents are supportive of your faith decisions, but I know that’s not the case for everyone who is interested in a Pagan path. I’m sure you know that, as an adult, it can be a sticky situation for me to privately discuss faith with a minor without that parental permission. You are of course welcome to connect in a public forum, such as this site or Facebook, all you’d like! But if you’d like to talk to me personally through email or some other private communication, could you get me that okay first? As I said, both GG and I appreciate and admire your honesty. I know sometimes it’s easier to just say what people want to hear, but you gain the respect of others when you take the high road!
Welcome to The Realm and I hope you enjoy looking around!
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