Despite the approach of all these things I love, I am feeling a solid mix of happiness and melancholy. I usually take stock of my physical, mental and emotional state when the equinox is nigh. And right now, I feel out of balance. I don’t feel aligned with the coming equinox. This is likely because the last year has been one of tremendous change for me. And continues to be.
Five and a half years ago, I embraced a man in marriage. Two months ago, I let him go through divorce. This transition has shaken my confidence in several areas…my decisions, my philosophy, my path.
I am walking into hope, while looking back at heartbreak. I am open to new affection, while closing my heart to past attachments. I am trying to look forward to opportunities, while letting go of comforts. I am smack-dab in the middle of Yin and Yang. And I feel torn.
This has me rethinking the equinox. I have always thought of it as a time of peaceful or calm transition, when the sun and moon are truly equal. In contrast, I have always thought of the solstices as times of forceful change. But maybe this philosophy is all wrong. Maybe the equinox is a time when Earth Mother is equally torn between two extremes, as I am torn now. Maybe the equinox is a requisite fray between opposites before settling into sameness. Maybe the simultaneous experience of contrasting ideas or feelings is really what it means to be balanced.
I don’t know. I have tried to research Asatru and general pagan-y practices for coping with stress. Thus far, I have not found anything of note. Most of the information I find is helpful in guiding decisions, but not so much in helping cope with the consequences. I think I’m managing well — if I do say so myself. But I would still like to learn more about how to “paganly†suss through my emotional equinox.
What say you royal readers? Have you come across a pagan-y way to deal with big life changes? I am open to any ritual or story.
3 comments
ScottTwo says:
Mar 16, 2011
Welcome to your Springtime, GG. May all your hopes for the upcoming season be fulfilled!
T.K. says:
Mar 16, 2011
It never helps to dwell on past decisions, philosophy, or the paths you have chosen to take. Questionable or not, learn from them and move on.
Enjoy the equinox!
B says:
Mar 17, 2011
A well-traveled friend of mine always says, “Never regret the places you went to. Only regret the places you didn’t go.”
Guess the same could be said of decisions, in general. 🙂
Enjoy the equinox! Myself, I’m planning a good bit of gardening this weekend, maybe attending an animal blessings ritual, and possibly a visit to Sherwood Forest Faire!