**Happy New Year from the Princesses!**
I’m 90% out of the closet but I’ve chosen to keep my Paganism from a few family members for the sake of familial harmony. I love these members of my family dearly, and they are wonderful, generous people. Just, unfortunately, not okay with religious diversity. Normally this is easy to shuffle around and doesn’t cause too much strain. But there has been a gift given over Christmas that has caused me a strange problem, and I don’t know what to do about it. Can you help me?
And then g/God killed everybody and everything… (The Deluge by Doré)
One of the family members gave the girls a children’s Bible for Christmas. That’s not the problem. It’s a beautifully illustrated book, and in theory I have no problem with this. I would like for both of my children to be familiar with Bible stories as they are culturally ubiquitous and an important part of our Western literary heritage. I’ve read the Bible multiple times. It’s an extremely important book, even for those of us who are not Christian.
Our eldest (7-years-old) has asked me to read it to her at night for her bedtime stories. The irony of her Pagan parent reading the Bible to her at night isn’t lost on me. But, as I said, I want her to know these stories, and she may choose to be a Christian when she grows up (which will be just fine with me, provided she can remain open-minded about other people’s right to practice their own religion).
But as I sat down with her to read Genesis, I found it a challenge to navigate our discussion of the narrative. Usually as we read books together, we stop every now and then and talk about what the characters are doing–particularly the mistakes they make and the consequences of their actions. These Bible stories were edited for content and retold in a way that assumes Jehovah is perfect (as is commonly believed in the Christian faith), so there was little to no attempt at justifying h/His actions. They were also stripped down for consumption by children, and it left the retelling to some rather bald story facts. Last night we read:
- The creation (no problems)
- Adam and Eve (who are punished by Jehovah for overcoming ignorance. I’ve mentioned my frustration with this story before, but I think at the moment that depth of interpretation is over the head of my elder, so I’m not currently stewing over it)
- Noah’s ark (in which Jehovah gets angry at the world for misbehaving and kills everybody but one family)
- The tower of Babel (in which people work together to accomplish great things, and then Jehovah gets mad at them for overachieving and stops them from communicating effectively, splintering the world into factions)
- Abraham and Sarah having children late in life (no problems)
- The marriage of Isaac and Rebekah (no problems)
- Jacob and Esau (in which Rebekah helps Jacob, the hero of the story, trick his blind father into giving him his brother Esau’s inheritance. I remember getting mad at this story back in middle school when I first heard it.)
- Jacob’s dream (in which Jacob’s trickery and theft is condoned by Jehovah in a dream)
We ended there for the night as we’d run out of reading time. I’m not saying that these stories have no redeeming values or aren’t important. In their full form, they have more nuance as well. But I had a really hard time dealing with them as presented. If they were stories from any other source, I would’ve pointed out multiple times how the character of Jehovah was wrong for using violence to problem-solve, reacting over jealousy, interfering with progress and encouraging children to trick their parents and cheat their family members for personal gain.
As a Pagan, when I tell Pagan stories, we can talk about ethical mistakes the gods make and what they might have done better. But the Christian Bible is told from the idea that everything g/God does is correct. With the majority of my family Christian (including my husband), I don’t want to insult their religion or treat it with disrespect. On the other hand, I don’t want my children to hear these stories and think these are behaviors they should emulate or revere.
I’m at a loss. I don’t want to discourage reading, and the elder would notice if I made the book disappear. I’ll happily take suggestions from anyone, but I would love a Christian weigh-in on this. Would you be insulted if I talked about Jehovah’s negative behaviors and why we shouldn’t behave as h/He does in these stories? Other ideas for how I can be honest about my beliefs and values and not insult others peoples’?
+ Featured Image: from Adam and Eve are Driven Out of Eden by Gustave Doré
12 comments
Shannon says:
Jan 1, 2013
I may be spitballing here as I’m not (yet) a parent and haven’t had to navigate this issue, but perhaps these Bible stories could be a good opportunity for your girls to figure out their own perspectives on the ideas presented. For example, what do they think of God destroying the world? Was it the right choice? Rather than you suggesting that God is wrong, they might come to their own conclusions. Also, does the girls’ Bible get into the New Testament at all? God chills out a lot once he gets all that Old Testament wrath out of his system and Jesus takes over. 🙂 As for a Christian perspective, what does TheScott think? He might have an easier time engaging with the Bible stories and discussing them with your girls since he doesn’t have to worry about criticizing Christianity as a member of another faith. Good luck and bright blessings!
Jax says:
Jan 1, 2013
I really like the suggestion of asking for their opinions on that issue. Usually, I do (it’s the English teacher in me), but I think the subject material stymied me. However, it’s still the right thing to do. Thank you for reminding me of that! And yes, it does have the New Testament, too, which I agree, has a totally more chill g/God in it. I’m curious to see what they do with Paul’s letters.
Charles says:
Jan 1, 2013
I’m trying to remember the simplified stories I heard in Sunday School. They settled into my psyche, but didn’t hold me back from asking more about God’s actions and motivations once I was ready to. As a Christian, I don’t see any insult in discussing these stories from any perspective – they are meant for chewing and digesting, not mere swallowing.
Jax says:
Jan 1, 2013
Thanks Charles! Yeah, the simplified stories are interesting and take a strong flavor from whomever is doing the retelling. If I was picking a book myself, I’d spend a lot of time reading different versions to see what messages they sent. But the illustrations in this one are child-friendly and the picture-to-text is right at my girls’ current reading level and attention span. So that part is nice.
ambermoone says:
Jan 1, 2013
Errrrr, its hard to say. I mean when I was young and in Hebrew School I was upset by the story of Abraham destroying the idols of other people’s gods. it seemed totally disrespectful to me and the fact that this was being taught as a good thing baffled me. My parents would be furious with me if I destroyed other people’s property no matter how different they were than me.
I don’t know that it is disrespectful to allow some discussion. Otherwise she might be more confused than anything.
Jax says:
Jan 1, 2013
Yes! I remember many of the same experiences hearing the different stories. Some were a cultural difference based on era (like slavery or concubinage) but some were just confusing. I specifically remember being mad about the Jacob and Esau story. Maybe it’s extra ire-inducing because I’m an older sibling, but the idea of a mother siding with the younger to trick their father and steal from the older…and then we’re supposed to treat the younger as the patriarch and hero??? I mean, I know everybody makes mistakes, but that’s seriously low.
That’s true that by allowing and encouraging discussion, maybe it’ll simply help her be less confused or even upset by them. They seem to have been at a pretty religiously conservative shelter before they came to us with some strongly instilled ideas about a higher power. Allowing her to ask questions instead of blindly following (as it’s pretty apparent they were supposed to do in their previous placement) would be good for her.
meagan says:
Jan 1, 2013
Ah…we’re about at that point with our families–I’m sure a picture Bible will be a Christmas/Easter present in the next year or two.
As an adult, I have an extremely negative view of the Sunday School version of Bible stories that I learned. It was a real shock to me when I was a teenager and an adult to encounter those stories in their real context–and set me up for multiple crises of faith because I believed that the Church had lied to me. Intense, yes, but those were my first breaks with Christianity.
So…I think the discussion model is a respectful one, and if I was still a Christian and/or bringing up Christian children, I think I would include those details (more nuanced as they get older). Without them their faith wouldn’t be fully informed. That’s part of faith, especially working with deities, right? Struggling with their imperfections, and in turn, with our own? Maybe also let her lead the questioning at some points. Cultivate the critical thinking part of reading a story.
It’s a tough nut. But I think you and theScott have great instincts.
Jax says:
Jan 1, 2013
Thanks, Megan! I hadn’t thought about the prospect of feeling tricked, although I can see how that could happen. I think you’re right. I need to use it to cultivate her critical thinking and try not to add my own input. That last part will be the hard part, I think. But I can do it.
Freyas Kitten says:
Jan 2, 2013
We homeschooled for a few years during our children’s middle school years. We were pagan parents even then however, we chose a christian curriculum. It concerned me but it worked out in our favor in the longrun. It was an excellent curriculum and it gave our children opportunities to question their own beliefs and develop and grow their beliefs. For example…there was a lesson that discussed panthiesm and of course it is of satan. Middle daughter discussed this concept at length and after much further research on her own she determined that she is a panthiest. This fostered not only questioning and decision making skills but research skills.
The Discreet Witch says:
Jan 4, 2013
Coming from a similar situation, I would approach story-time the same way you would when reading from any other mythology storybook. Respect is key, but western religions are all so intertwined that it is easy to compare the Christian creation stories with a lot of older, pagan creation stories. Just be warned that anything you tell your little angels WILL come out at the next family function.
Thorn says:
Jan 5, 2013
I like all of the discussion ideas. I think after a few weeks you should find an illustrated Norse or Greek mythology book. You can let your daughter pick which ones she wants you to read to her each night. I think more options would be beneficial anyway.
TreeofLifeHugger says:
Jan 10, 2013
Is there any way to skip ahead and focus on the New Testament? The Old Testament contains a lot of stories that are often hard even for Christian parents to read to young children. The New Testament, specifically the Gospels, are more focused on the “golden rule” and stories that illustrate that (which is somewhat compatible with the Wiccan Rede). Paul’s letters are also just hard for young readers. I was Christian for multiple years, attended Bible studies, etc. My husband is still Christian. We will be raising our kids with multiple viewpoints as well. All the best in your decision-making.